Born this way (from lamb to lion)
I was once asked if I "was born this way" by a beautiful student who was participating in one of my workshops in Merano, Italy.
In fact, I was asked that question, in different disguises, on several occasions.
How did I get here - to this point of self-awareness and assurance, a place where I can be my full self, unapologetically, and claim the freedom of not bothering about what others think of me?
Self-Confidence may be a feature most will associate with me and I have, in fact, developed it throughout the years but, rest assured, it wasn´t a quality I was born with.
I was the weird kid, a mix of ballerina and ghetto girl, who hid in the last row of the classroom and never, ever, spoke unless I was forced to. I´d blush whenever someone talked to me; I´d secretly hope Harry Potter´s invisible cloak would save me from the nuisance of being seen.
As a teenager, I loved to remain inside my almost depressing cave - keywords: hiding & cave - listening to music, dancing, reading, not having to interact with other humans. I´d run away from boys and suffered, for a couple of years, from a harsh case of anorexia. I was at war with my body, my mind, my entire self.
How did I end up in Egypt, and then around the world, performing, lecturing, teaching, exposing myself without a hint of shame or restrictions? How did I allow myself to shine when all I knew was hiding?
How did I end up loving myself - body, heart, mind, and soul - when I grew up believing I wasn´t enough?
I believe the shift happened gradually and it started with my reencounter with Egyptian Dance. It´s like a Before & After story.
This is Joana, before Egyptian Dance: 
And this is Joana, after Egyptian Dance:
Egyptian Dance reminded me of things I shouldn´t have forgotten - we shouldn´t have forgotten. It brought me back to myself, my core, my truth.
It transformed me, cleansed me, opened me up with its magic wand. Soon after I started diving into it, I was a completely different person. Unrecognizable. To be more exact, I became my own person. For the first time in my life.
Once you open that door and you see there´s no point in shrinking and making yourself invisible, you never go back.
This blessed art form has given me the biggest gift of all: the awareness and celebration of my uniqueness. From that point, we can only go up.
Do I fall off the self-confidence track? Hell, yeah. I´m human and life happens. Self-confidence isn´t something we can be done with - ever. We build it and rebuild it; we lose it, sometimes, and we find it again.
Recently, I created a video about how Egyptian Dance can change our life ( click HERE to watch ) and it got me thinking about gratitude and path. Our unique path.
Looking back, something I don´t do often, I see the stepping stones, the phases of evolution, the challenges, and the breakthroughs. My self-confidence grew as life grew in me; it grew as I grew into the difficulties and the pleasures existence had in store, for me.
In my dance, I started tense, afraid, anxious, unsure if I was good enough.
Then, I went through exhaustion. The exhaustion of trying to please people, get their applause and approval.
That exhaustion brought me to surrender. In a state of surrender, I understood there was nothing to prove. I could relax, let it go, flow with the music, the movement, and the moment. All I had to do was be myself, do my best, and dance from my heart. Honestly, openly. I had to become more human.
Is that it?
Not quite. But almost.
The truth is frequently delivered in chunks, disperse pieces of a puzzle we have to put together, continuously.
Be on the watch. Observe. Realize the fact that life´s too short for playing small. In dance, as in life, self-confidence is the appreciation for the gift of being alive.
The answers can be found in the most improbable places like, well, inside.
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If you wish to take your SELF-EMPOWERMENT skills to a higher level and go deeper into the PERSONAL RESOURCES you carry within, the ones that´ll allow you to CREATE THE DANCE & LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS, check our
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In this Training, Joana Saahirah delivers the juice from more than 20 years of work in the field of Egyptian Dance, first in Egypt and then, around the world.
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